ter....SUKA...
orang yang....TAK...sepatutnye....

semoga hati ini tenang sentiasa....
dan pulih semula....

people...so scary!!

it's about 3 months here...
i am enjoying my work now..
many knowledge i got here..
it's good for me..insyaAllah..
but there's a lots of people here..
many characters..
and what's make me scare here is..
NOBODY i can trust...
so, no word 'bestfriend' here..
no 'gang' here...
and again i miss my UPM gang..
and now I realize and agree with my lecturer
she said "the best moment is when u r studying"..
right now, what i go through can't challenge my 'student life'...
student life still be the greatest moment i had..

falling in love..
yeah...i love my work here..
it's such a magnet that pull me to be here...haha

talking about 'rezeki'..
it's not in my hand..
just try the best..
and others let HE decide..
working in government still the biggest dream i have..
i believe one day i can achieve it...insyaAllah..

just enjoying my life now..
with family, the kids, my work, and the peoples...

to Amelia Ahmad..nah aku dah updet blog...now, ur turn ;p

struggle to survive

the week of &$%^^^^&....

means no feeling at all...

the problem comes one by one...in a short time..like someone hit me until bleeding....sakit tak terkira....
yes..

"Allah will not test you with something you can't control"...

life is not easy as we though...each people go through with different ways...somehow, it's not a way that we take but we have no choice....no choice!!..

and now...
struggle to survive...
give what i can...
hopefully the light comes into my life soon..insyaAllah..

beautiful plan...

new environment...

assalamualaikum....

Alhamdulillah....2 good news this week..1st: i can run from education field....ahakss...2nd: application for transfer (my sis) were approved..yes, Allah make it easy for us..and Ajwad, Awliya and Amsyar can livedwith their mom together (Abi blom dpt transfer lg).. and Tok n Tok Ba can rest more...

from child early education, i jump to account field....

i don't want to talk about account...i still warm up with this...6 days work in a week...just 1 day off...alahai..1 tahun 8 bulan dah terbiasa dgn cuti sekolah, pukul 1 dah ada kat rumah, play and learn dgn Ajwad n Awliya..but now, little bit sad because my time spends more at office...but but but, i have to...for my future..to gain my knowledge and experience...

Ajwad...he will turns to 3 end of dis month..

Awliya...she will turns to 2 dia oct..

Amsyar...he's already 2 months..

ouch..ouch...suddenly i feel sad...masa aku dengan budak2 nie dah dicuri..

that's we call opportunity cost..

again, economic theory applied in my life...ahaha..

i'm hoping for a good..

I plan..We plan..But HE also plan and HIS plan is the best..always remember that asma!!

health is wealth..

it's about a week i'm fighting with the 'sick'..alhamdulillah, now, i'm feeling well...

sick...'sick' is a signal from Allah...
to make us remembering what we do wrong...
to test how strong we are...
to make we realize life is too short...
and make me remember HIM...always


my parents is the best.. 

recently i always think...think about child education..the best way to teach them?..what can do and what can't...huhu...i'm feel such a loser...

and suddenly, old memories dance in my eyes...
i can look my family routine before..
sembahyang maghrib berjemaah..
baca yasin tiap malam jumaat..berjemaah jgk..
and sometimes when our family have an issue, my father will do simple usrah...
he's not talk directly to that issue but in generally..
sometimes, he test us hafazan surah, hafazan zikir..
he will start, and let us to continue...
this is the best part i like (suka tunjuk terer)...haha
all that we do after maghrib prayer...

aku...
bermain2 dalam telekung mak..
yess... i feel safe there..
and one day mak didn't pray...
after that kak also didn't pray...
hanya aku dekat saf belakang..
i ask mak 'kenapa mak tak sembahyang?'..
n mak give me a good answer 'sebab Allah bagitau mak x bole sembahyang'...
n i'm ask again 'macam mana Allah bole bagitau mak. mak jumpa Allah ka?'..
mak kata ' nanti adik besar sikit, Allah bagitau la adik'...
masa tu jeles sangat2 sebab mak n kak xpayah sembahyang..hahaha..

my mom also perform a good task as a mother...
mak membiasakan aku dengan tudung sejak umur 6 tahun..
not only tudung but also what i'm wearing...
no gaun kembang2 at that age..
yes i know...
it's to make us shame..teach us too shame...
and puasa...
mom never ask me to fasting..
and she's never angry  if i'm not fasting..
i don't know why...
and last year i'm hear one ustaz said..
what's the most important to teach child is to perform solat..
if your child perform solat and autimatically, she/he also will fasting..
sebab solat itu kan tiang agama..
yes that the answer...

mak also always bring me to surau if  have a talk..
n bring me there early morning to do 'sujud sejadah' (tiap2 pagi jumaat rasanya)..
hhahaha..
i can see i always sleep at surau...

how beautiful kid's moment i have...

alhamdulillah i have such a good parents..
maybe they're not too cool like others..
maybe they're not too open like others..
but they're the best for me..
and you too..
your parents is the best...don't compare ur parents with others ok!!

and us??..
did we be a good daughter/son to them???..

the week of stress...
that what i can conclude..
stress...stress...stress!!

astaghfirullah..
i'm not realize that i think too much..

till my body temperature increase too high..
till my breath not consistent...sometimes too slow and sometimes too fast...
till my eyes can't open..
just want too close..
just like not enough oxygen in my brain..
maybe sleep is the best treatment..
and maybe it's not..

yess...
i'm too tired..
i remembered that the doctor said "istighfar banyak2..ingat Allah"..
no medicine for me at all..

subhanallah..
alhamdulillah..
Allah hu Akbar..

again. it's a fighting..
i'm fighting with myself..

Allah hu Akbar

*kadang-kadang terlalu banyak perkara nak diselesaikan..dan terlalu banyak juga perkara yang berada diluar kawalan...berserah dan berdoalah pada Allah...sesungguhnya Allah tidak akan menguji hambanya dengan ujian yang tidak tertanggung oleh hambanya*